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After a year punctuated by two frustratingly short visits, I quit my job in New York and moved to Barcelona with a plan to learn the language and a prayer that when she could actually understand me, she might love me. Falling in love was Sturm und Drang: euphoric at times, but also risky, fraught, and emotionally draining. The long-distance relationship before I moved to Spain was filled with agonizing phone calls, unintelligible letters, and constant misunderstandings. You might more accurately say that falling in love is the start-up cost for happiness—an exhilarating but stressful stage we have to endure to get to the relationships that actually fulfill us. Passionate love—the period of falling in love—often hijacks our brains in a way that can cause elation or the depths of despair.

Affect on Relationships As anyone who has ever lived and loved can approve, not all types of love are the same. The love you air for your partner during the ahead of schedule stages of a romance can air much different than the love you may feel years later into the relationship. Psychologist Elaine Hatfield has described two different types of romantic love: compassionate also known as companionate after that passionate. Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trustand affection while adore love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction. Hatfield defines passionate love at the same time as a state of intense longing designed for union with another. People in this state of love tend to be subject to very powerful feelings for each erstwhile. They need to be near the other person, may think about the other person constantly, and experience acute distress when separated. Passionate love additionally comes in two different forms. Requited love occurs when the two individuals share mutual attraction and feelings designed for one another.