Something about my perfect partner isn’t doing it for me

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Chloe, one of our advisory board members, answers your most pressing love and relationship questions every other week on WomensHealthMag. Fairytales and rom-coms have long perpetuated the idea that there's this one single person in the universe who's destined to be your forever partner, your soul mate, but as a relationship therapist, I'm here to tell you that's not the case. But wait—it's a good thing! I'm taking an even more realistic approach, which I actually find incredibly settling. You see, at their core, a relationship is supposed to help you learn and grow. When you enter into a relationship with a person, you naturally adapt and evolve a little bit based on what they bring out in you—you are, in short, impacted by your partner hopefully for the better. Isn't that kind of cool?

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Although the reasons we fall in adoration are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are a good deal less elusive. There may be denial such thing as the perfect affiliate, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has industrial themselves in certain ways that attempt beyond looks, charms and success. Even if we each seek out a aspect set of qualities that is uniquely meaningful to us alone, there are certain psychological characteristics both you after that your partner can strive for so as to make the relationship much more apt for lasting success. To truly become adult up means recognizing and resolving ahead of schedule childhood traumas or losses, and after that understanding how these events influence our current behaviors. Therefore the ideal affiliate is willing to reflect on their past. They possess a maturity so as to comes from being emotionally emancipated as of their family of origin. They allow developed a strong sense of autonomy and autonomy, having made the emotional shift from boy to man before girl to woman. Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is more available to their partner and the new family they have created, as oppose to the one in which they were instinctive. Because this partner has grown ahead, they are less likely to re-enact childhood experiences in an intimate affiliation.

We all know what happens when you head to the grocery store devoid of a list. The analogy makes awareness. It ended when he went en route for Vegas for a bachelor party after that met a girl. The next weekend he broke up with me; all the rage three months they were engaged, all the rage six months they were marriedand after that they moved into the apartment so as to we lived in together.